Yes, moms and ogres are like onions....we all have layers. Today I am peeling back a layer that I don't always let show. I want to do this so that you can get to know the "real" me.....the deep down nitty gritty me. I so enjoy getting to know all of you. I have made some amazing friends through blogging and met so many inspiring women. Today I want to share with you a piece of my heart.
6 years ago I had a baby boy named Noah. He came smack dab in the middle of my two oldest boys and my little girls. We found out when I was 20 weeks pregnant with him that he had a condition called Trisomy 18. Babies with this chromosomal abnormality cannot "sustain life". They told us he might live an hour,a day, or a month.....there was really no way to tell. But we knew he would not be with us very long in this life. My precious angel Noah was born to heaven at 27 weeks, weighing a mere 1 pound 3 ounces and measuring 11 inches long. He was perfect. My boys never got a chance to see or hold their baby brother. Yet, from that day on they talked about him every.single.day. They prayed for him every.single.day. And they kept this mama sane every.single.day. They were 5 and 3 at the time, and they were my rocks of strength. They were the reason I got out of bed in the morning and kept plodding along. I am so grateful for their example of faith, and love, and knowledge that we didn't need to be sad....because this is not the end....we will be with Noah again one day! I am blessed beyond measure. I have a beautifully flawed life that I would not trade for anything on this earth.
For the last 6 years I have kept all of Noah's mementos in a tiny blue box hidden away where only I could see it. I did not do this because I'm ashamed or embarrassed. I think I did it out of self-preservation. I purchased a shadowbox years ago to put all of these things in, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was so afraid that if I brought it all out and went down that road that I might never come back. The tears may never stop. Well, I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden I was ready. I got the shadowbox down from the top of my closet and quickly set to work. When my boys came in the room to see what I was doing, they were so excited and so was I! No tears....just love and joy and pride. I want to display these priceless memories where I can see them all the time, and we can be reminded of Noah every single day. I want my girls to know him and love him like my boys do. I want his life to be remembered and honored....not hidden away in a tiny blue box.